Today I woke up with a BANG and a SCREAM! Not like a gunshot but more like a porky ass crash landing on the 2nd floor. I remember thinking who the heck has a porky ass in this house? No one really. Adam probably has the biggest ass in this house but not that big. Anyway I got up to see what it was. I found Matthew hanging stuck with his legs in his bed head down on the floor. I asked him what game he was playing and why I wasn't invited. He couldn't answer at first. Maybe because his neck was kinda in a non verbal position. I know how that is. It has happend to me many times. It's when your neck kinda is broken, but it's not. It's like when it's located on the opposite angle it should be located if you know what I mean.
I moved his neck so he could give me an answer because I couldn't stand there all day. After a few seconds he said that he had woken up and seen a monster on the door to the wardrobe. He tried to scare it by waving his arms but the monster got really aggressive when he did that. He got really scared and tried to run out of bed but his legs got stuck and here he was. I told him there are no monsters in this house because I have set out some traps and used other tricks to keep them away. Suddenly he screamed THERE IT IS AGAIN! And sure it was. It was my shadow. He had seen his own shadow and thought it was a monster. Let me tell you. Matthew is a disgrace to coolness. But I started to laugh and got downstairs to grab some breakfast. I totally forgot to help Matthew out of that bed. Lauren helped him later.
I really think he hit his head because he looked alarming cross-eyed at breakfast. I told Lauren he looked like a scen from a comedy but she said that he probably was tired and in shock from falling out of bed.
Maybe your body does that when you hit yourself really hard. I mean you get cross-eyed and kinda looks like mix between a retard and an old person's ass. Old peoples' asses are wrinkled. That's because the older you get the more skin you'll have. It comes to a point when the body can't hide all skin so it'll start to hang all over. When you're young the body is strong and can hide skin. But the scrotum is a little wrinkled but on old people the whole scrotum hangs down to your knees. That's why old men can't run that fast. The scrotum hits their knees. Or in worse cases they step on it. Those are eating viagra. Viagra is a pill that lifts the scrotum a few inches. Many old men eat that pill.
Maybe we all get our own personal expression in our faces when we hit ourselves that hard. Some people maybe just bite their lower lip while their faces turn red looking like rednecks. Some people just open their eyes wide like an owl. It's like their eyelids fall back into the head. Back in the skall I think. It's hard for the eyelids to fall back out. You're gonna have to hit that scared person in the back of the head. Pretty hard. Just be careful so you don't scare them even more. If a person get scared twice within 60 seconds they could fall into coma or get skin rashes. Some people run. Cowards. Some people scream. Now what good will that do? That will only kill you faster. Some people cry.
I've been thinking about why people cry when they get scared. I don't think it's because they get sad. No you see when you get scared some of your body functions kinda shuts down. One of the is the ability to pee. The body kinda turns inside out and turn some funtions around so the tears that are comming when you get scared are actually urin. It's like peeing your pants but since that function is blocked you're peeing your face instead. If you think that's disgusting you should be glad you don't shit your face.
Ok gotta go now but I'll back later and tel you how you keep the monsters away. My whole house is rigged.
MAGALOSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
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do your brothers girlfiend Anna has any blog? i would really like to read it :) i enjoy you blog seth!
SvaraRadera